Happy Together: Keeping a Healthy Relationship

Do you often ask yourself if you’re still happy with the relationship?  Do you often look back to check why you’re with the person you’re with right now?  Do you feel that your relationship is brining you down more than you feel that it elate you?  You may be in an unhealthy relationship.

What is a healthy relationship?

A healthy relationship should have the following qualities:

  • A sense of respect for each other.  Your significant other should be able to give you the same respect he expects from you.  This is respect for your individuality, for your unique personality – your sense of humor or the weird way you laugh.  Also this entails a sense of respect for your decisions.  Accepting your decisions and understanding it.  Simply put, mutual respect in a relationship means that you value each other’s differences and understand, not try to change the other person’s personality.
  • Trust for each other.  Trust means knowing that your partner is faithful to you no matter how many tempting opportunities surround him.  This is when you see your boyfriend talking to a new girl in his class and you’d know deep inside that your partner loves you enough to not fool around.  Everybody is entitled to feel jealous.  It is, after all, a very normal emotion.  It is how you react to that emotion that will count.  Acting on jealousy will only bring you down and will not be healthy for your relationship.
  • Honesty with each other.  This should go hand in hand with trust as trust is based on how truthful your partner is to you.  How can you trust someone who can’t be honest with you?  Once you’ve caught your partner in a major lie, you’ll have doubts the next time he tells you where he’s going or who he’s going with.
  • Supportiveness.  Your partner will not just need your support during problematic times.  There are people who seem to just appear from nowhere to offer a helping hand when everything seems chaotic, but is nowhere to be found during happy times. It’s nice to have someone to share triumph and happy times with. It always feels good to know that you have someone who believes in your capabilities and celebrates your achievements with you.
  • Fairness.  Relationships should be give and take. Taking turns in making decisions, be it as simple as choosing a movie to watch or a place to eat at.  This means that you’re not keeping count of how many times the other person has made the decision for the two of you as a couple, and you’re not turning the decision making process into a power struggle as to who should get his way.
  • Separate Identities.  This means compromising in situations where there is a difference in interest.  This doesn’t have to end up with one losing his identity just to give way to the other person. Both partners should still be able to maintain time for their own interest like when they started with the relationship.
  • Open communication.  This means being able to express how you feel openly and honestly to your partner without fear of having your candidness misinterpreted.  Having the sincerity to speak what’s on your mind, provided you’ve thought it out thoroughly enough to know that what you say will be taken in a good, constructive way.

What makes a relationship unhealthy?

A relationship starts becoming unhealthy once it becomes mean, disrespectful, controlling and hurtful. Some people are exposed to domestic violence and start bringing it over to the way they carry a relationship.  A person who has grown up to watching physical and emotional abuse inside their homes will most likely think that it’s normal in a relationship.
Relationships normally need work. It may have started with an overwhelming feeling of love for one another, but then again, keeping that love is a totally different thing altogether. Understanding you and your partner’s differences, accepting them and working around those differences will make your relationship easier to handle.  Keeping it healthy, will make you both flourish and grow not just as individuals, but as a couple as well.

About Ola Agbaimoni

Known as "The Business Detective" due to her "Sherlock Holmes" like problem solving abilities, Ola works in partnership with her sister Carole Pyke, The Business Bard. Together they run Eélan Media, a new type of Business growth agency offering a forensic approach to business and a creative approach to marketing. As well as being an expert in business planning, training and development, Ola is also a certified coach, NLP practitioner; an accomplished author, speaker and presenter.

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