The true value of real wealth

What is real wealth? Many people are fixated on the idea that wealth is money, i.e. the more money you have the wealthier you are. They then go one step further and conclude that the wealthier you are the happier you will be. The equation becomes:

Money = wealth = happiness.
Do you subscribe to this view? If you do, it is hardly surprising. We live in a community where everything is given a price. If you don’t believe me, listen to the rhetoric of our politicians. It is a constant dialogue of cutting expenditure on services that benefit those with the least and policies that reward and encourage those with the most to hang onto it.

Every day we receive messages from our environment that reinforce the idea that money = wealth and wealth = happiness. Paradoxically we also receive the opposite of this message too. That is:

without money you are nothing, we do not value your opinions or care about your needs. If you don’t have money you cannot participate.
Obviously no one says this directly however it is implied by the way in which our society works. Think of all the things that you need on a daily basis that are not available to you without money. Indeed apart from air (and not even fresh air at that) everything you need has a price on it. Specifically, everything “physical” you need has a price on it. This results in the majority of us coming to another conclusion: in order to feel valued you have to have money. The more money you have the more valued you will feel. Actually there real evidence is that self worth as little if not nothing to do with money. True self worth comes from within.

The problem with this pattern of thought is that it sets up a very confusing dialogue within people around money and their relationship with it. Money seems to mean everything and determine everything; yet deep down we know that we have a higher spiritual truth. That is our authentic self; our true worth is not determined by money. Because of the conflict we experience –

we need money to survive: money = wealth = happiness versus I am worth more than money: Money is not who I am

we don’t know how to approach our relationship with money and as a consequence we end up repelling both money and our authentic true selves. This blocks both the flow of true wealth into our lives as well as the flow of money. In order to heal our relationship with money and our relationship with ourselves so that we experience abundance and true wealth; we need to start unravelling our feelings and values about money and who we truly are so that we have clarity and purpose again. When we are clear who we are, it is easy for us to reconnect to our higher self, to trust in the abundance of the universe and thereby attract into our lives true wealth and experience real harmony with money and our authentic selves.

The first step to breaking this pattern of thought is to recognise and challenge these ideas by being clear on our core values around money and what we want from our lives.

A-E of discovering your Core Values using the 3 Rs formula for inner discovery
• Reflect – deep thinking and introspections
• Reduce – reducing the list of options by choosing what is most important to you

• Reclaim – reclaiming the outcome as your own and taking action as a result

Reflect

A= Assessment: On a blank piece of paper write at the top ‘[your name]’s Core Values.’ Then answer the following question without censoring what comes out, don’t try to think positive or negative, just let it flow.

“What, in life, is most important to me?”

Once you have completed this task take a look at the list of common values below to see if any of these connect to the things you have listed down. Don’t worry if they don’t. It is perfectly ok to have a value expressed as a statement rather than a single word.

List of Common Values
Abundance Acceptance Achievement Adventure Aesthetics Appreciation Authenticity
Balance Beauty Bliss
Caring Career Cheerfulness Clarity Commitment Compassion Co-operation Confidence Contentment Courage Creativity
Daring Dedication Detachment Determination Devotion Diligence Discipline Discernment Discrimination
Empathy Empowerment Energy Enthusiasm Excellence
Faith Family Fame Flexibility Forgiveness Freedom Friendship Fun
Generosity Good will Grace Gratitude Growth
Happiness Harmlessness Harmony Healing Health Honesty Hope Humility
Inclusiveness Insight Integrity Influence Intelligence Intimacy Introspection Intellectual growth Intuition
Joy Justice
Kindness Knowledge
Leadership Learning Love Loyalty
Maturity Money
Openness Order
Passion Patience Peace Positive Power Prosperity Purity Purpose Recognition
Relationships Respect Reverence
Sacrifice Security Serenity Service Sharing Silence Spirituality Spontaneity Strength Status Support Surrender Success
Tolerance Trust Trustworthiness Truth
Understanding Union Unity
Wisdom Winning Wealth

B= Beliefs: Now that you have your list of words ask yourself, “what are my beliefs about [insert value] or what does [value] mean to me?”

For example if one of your words is money, your question would be, “what are my beliefs about money?” To which the answer could be, “money equals achievement, security, power and authority.”

By answering this second question you uncover your core or underlying values. In this example money is the means to being an achiever, or being more secure, or being powerful and having authority. These are the core values.

Reducing

C=Choice
– Choose up to seven values from your long list. Select the things that are the most important to you in life. Once you have your short list rank them in order of priority. The most important first.

To help you indentify what is most important, look at each value in turn and ask yourself if you had to give up one of these values in return for happiness which one would you be prepared to sacrifice. Then eliminate the one you have chosen – this will be the least important – then ask yourself the same question for the remaining values. Repeat this exercise until you get to number 1.

Once you have your values ordered in terms of their priority to you create a single list and place it somewhere where you can see your list every day.

D= Describe – Now is the time to get really clear and specific. Using only the top 3 values on your list identify what successfully living to this value means to you. To help clarify this, imagine that you have travelled forward in time to your 90th birthday and you are looking back at your whole life. How would you know that you had been successful in living your values? What would you have achieved, how would you have lived, what would you have done? Use this information to complete the following:

1. My value:
“Success to me means . . .”
2. My value:
“Success to me means . . .”
3. My value:
“Success to me means . . .”

After you have identified what success means for each of your values create a narrative that weaves them together in an overall statement. Don’t worry if it isn’t perfect pros or poetry, it is your statement and so long as you are clear and you understand it that’s all that matters.

Now give yourself a huge pat on the back! You’ve just created a core values statement for your life.
The process you have gone through to get to it will ensure that your statement reflects who you are and what’s important to you. Many people not only don’t live by their core values they are also unaware of what they are and how they translate into standards for living their life. Now that you have your value statement, let it become your benchmark, your standard of the best you so that you live your life aligned to your core values. Make time to regularly evaluate how well you are living up to your value statement.

For example, if spending time with your family is important to you, and you work long hours and are too tired to engage with them when you get home, then the way you are living will be out of integrity with your values.

Regularly journaling about your feelings and meditation is a great way to do to assess the gap between your behaviour and your core values.

Reclaim

E= Examine – Now that you know what your core values are take some time to examine how well your current life reflects your core values. Using the wheel of life below look at each area of your life and give yourself a score out of 10 in terms of how well you are living your values in this area of your life. Where 10 is on track and 0 is not at all.

Over the next month make a conscious effort to evaluate how what you do is in accordance with your core values. Now that you are paying close attention you can intervene where necessary – i.e. when what you are about to do or say is out of integrity with your core values. Each time you do something that fulfils one of your core values write it down. By the end of the period you should have examples under each of your core values. At the end of the month re score your wheel of life. Continue with this process, month by month until how you live is fully aligned with your values.

As always all comments and thoughts are positively encourage 🙂

Trying to get back in alignment with your values can seem daunting, especially if there is a significant gap between your values and how you are currently living. As with all things in life they are a lot easier when you have a good support network and /or expert help. If you would like to explore how I can help your heal your relationship with money and increase wealth and abundance in your life I offer a FREE 1 hour (no obligations) taster session. For further information please email me with your contact details at owb@eelanmedia.com

About Ola Agbaimoni

Known as "The Business Detective" due to her "Sherlock Holmes" like problem solving abilities, Ola works in partnership with her sister Carole Pyke, The Business Bard. Together they run Eélan Media, a new type of Business growth agency offering a forensic approach to business and a creative approach to marketing. As well as being an expert in business planning, training and development, Ola is also a certified coach, NLP practitioner; an accomplished author, speaker and presenter.

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