Not all red berries are poisonous !

Now it can’t have escaped your notice that Tuesday was Valentine’s Day.  How was it for you? Were you remembered in someone else’s heart?

Over the past few years my mother has taken to either sending me valentine’s cards or ringing me up and wishing me Happy Valentine’s day. At first I thought it was sort of odd but then I guess she is seeing it in a bigger context. Instead of just being a day for lovers she is seeing it a day to celebrate relationships, which is I guess is nice as it’s more inclusive – you don’t have to feel left out just because you don’t have a romantic love interest in your life.

Relationships are of course very important to us as human beings. Basically relationships fulfil our two primary needs to be loved and give love. However we all know that not all our relationships are healthy. Some of them definitely need healing. Unhealed relationships have an impact on how we are as people – how we respond to situations. After all we would not have become successful as a species if we didn’t learn from past experience. I call it the red berry syndrome. We learnt that red berries were poisonous by observing the fate of those who ate red berries. We therefore do not do things that harm us. We learn from our own experiences and that of the group’s.
However, old knowledge is not always wisdom. Not all red berries are in fact poisonous. It took a brave or perhaps foolish person to venture into the unknown and eat the first non poisonous red berry. If we let our experience of our past negative relationships colour too much how we operate in the future we could be missing out on new and exciting experiences and true growth.

Our relationships are not only emotional they are also spiritual. Our relationship go deep and we use them, albeit in error, to tell us who we think we are and so they also have an effect on how we see ourselves. If we don’t feel loved we assume that we are un loveable. If our relationships treat us as if we have no value then we can feel unworthy in every sense.

This dynamic applies both to people and to the other main relationship we have. That is our relationship with money. For many people the negative relationship they have with money as a result of their conditioning and previous “red berry” experiences means that they develop a sense of unworthiness and rather than experiencing abundance in life they experience lack.
Shifting these patterns and of belief starts with an awareness of what is really driving your thoughts and feelings about your relationships. One way in which we can start to become aware of these things is to deeply reflect on our lives and see how our experiences have affected who we are today. So here are my 3 tips to help heal your relationship with money. They apply equally as well to people:

About Ola Agbaimoni

Known as "The Business Detective" due to her "Sherlock Holmes" like problem solving abilities, Ola works in partnership with her sister Carole Pyke, The Business Bard. Together they run Eélan Media, a new type of Business growth agency offering a forensic approach to business and a creative approach to marketing. As well as being an expert in business planning, training and development, Ola is also a certified coach, NLP practitioner; an accomplished author, speaker and presenter.

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